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Toxic People

Please listen to me when I say get rid of that toxic person in your life. Whether is a family member, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, tell them goodbye. I have been off and on friends with this girl I met in seventh grade. Her name is “K” and has influenced me to write this because I have learned from her. She has always said things to my other friends about me. Like that I’m annoying, she’s better than me in sports, and that I’m rude. However, I probably can be all these things, but I’m confident in saying that the majority of my schoolmates don’t think these things. In fact they’ve told me and I don’t want to sound cocky but I’m pretty well-liked. At least it seems that way. (Trust me I’m not full of myself, actually I’m quite the opposite.) She always judged me for what I wore, my hair, makeup, and who I liked or hung out with. She controlled who I could be friends with and put me down. 

Finally, this year I had had enough. I told her I didn’t want to be her friend anymore. The silence between us lasted months, but then I decided to try and be on good terms. I didn’t have to be close with her, or even friends, but I am able to be civil. She still talks about me and judges me, but I try not to let it bother me now that I know who my real friends are. 

So I’m telling you, it’s not just a boyfriend you can break up with it’s anyone. And if you need to talk to someone I am always here. Remember, you have one life so make it the best and fill it with people you truly want to be around. 

Love, 

Annie 

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Updates, Life, and Thoughts

There are many things happening lately with school, friends, family, and sports. I’d like to start off by saying I have good news. My stepmother has found an apartment and is living separate from us now! Also I completed a semester of a dual enrollment class with positive results. This means I earned both college and high school credits. It took a lot of hard work, but I’m proud to say I’ve successfully completed a college class as a junior in high school. 

Friendships have improved, by this point in high school I’ve nearly filtered (or at least avoided) the negative people out of my life. 

And now, a special relationship with a boy I met last summer. He’s so special and I want to say I see a future for him and me. He’s four years older than me which can be problematic, but it works well. Adults tend to look down on someone my age when they say they’ve found their soulmate. I can honestly say I think I have. I’m sorry, I’m getting too cheesy 🙂 

Hmm that’s about what’s going on in my life right now. Thank you for reading that.

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Memories

I spent yesterday looking at old pictures and watching home videos. I thought I would share some of the pictures. 


Looking at these made me realize I’ll have love in life, my own children, retire, get a job, travel, have highs, but are my best days over? My mom is gone and so if a piece of me. A piece I can never get back. Something will be missing from every peak in my life. 

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Life

If I had to sum up my life in one word it would be complicated. This doesn’t necessarily deserve a negative connotation because don’t get me wrong I am so grateful. I live in a beautiful place, have a loving family, a home, and supportive community. Sure, I’ve had some rough spots, but so many other people have it worse and I am so so lucky. 

But let’s delve into the complications shall we? First of all about a year ago I blogged about my dad recently having divorced my stepmom. This never happened. Legally. She eventually moved downstairs into our apartment we had and then she left. She went and travelled all 48 continental states with two young children by herself. She came back with no where to live, so naturally, my dad let her move into our shop (a place next door to the house with heat and bedding). It was sufficient until she found in apartment. But that hasn’t happened. She spent a total of 10,000 dollars on her travels instead of thinking ahead to after the fact. Tensions were continued to rise between my father and her. Until yesterday she announced to my dad she went on a date. Congrats girl now get out. My feelings on her are torn actuslly, we used to have some sort of relationship, but now she never even says hello. She does attend my swim meets but still doesn’t talk to me. It’s confusing, no, complicated. 

I’ll see where this goes, I don’t know, but that’s life and it’s supposed to be mysterious and thrilling. 

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Letters

I have a sad story to share. I know I said I was going to be uplifting, but I couldn’t help myself…

I sat down with my dad attempting to pay my very first bill. When it came time to complete it my writing the return address, I realized it had been years since I wrote a letter. I wrote the return address in wrong! Feeling ignorant and sad I realized this needed to change.

I’m Annie and I’m desperately seeking out a pen pal.

Kisses 😘

Annie

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I Miss My Mom

I’m 16 all too young to be desperately craving just another hug or another chat with my mother. When I was 13 I lost her to breast cancer. My life has never been the same. 

Reasons why I miss my mom.

  1. I miss her hugs- If someone were to offer me one more enveloping, comforting hug from her I would accept no matter the repercussions of the deal. 
  2. I miss her humor- Everytime she laughed the world seemed a little bit more pleasant, a little brighter. Every bad situation never seemed so breaking when she cracked a joke, smiled, or laughed. 
  3. I miss the judge free conversation- I remember I could always go to her when I needed to get out of my system what had been bothering me. She was never judgement about it and always made sure I knew she could be trusted. I’ve never found anyone else that I can talk to win such openness as I could her. 
  4. I miss her. (This blog has yet to be completed) 
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Journaling

Today I applied some advice that often I forget that needs to be put into action. I had a counselor name “E” who told me to journal when I’m feeling down, up, angry, content, just journal. It slips my mind that the memories I have now don’t last forever, what I think I’ll remember can often been forgotten. Memories of my mother I value highly and I realize they should be written down as often as possible. I don’t want to forget her, anything about her, her hugs, kisses, advice, adventures, smell. I loved her, I still do. 

So now I challenge you, journal, now! You won’t regret it. 

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My Dad

My dad has been through hell, but continues to persevere through every motion of life. He’s been abused, cheated, and hurt by life, but he still stands strong. Out of his 47 years he claims there have been good times but mostly to me I see bad. But what I don’t see is how much fun he and my mom had, how much joy his kids bring, and how ,nature, his outlet calms him. What I view as a negative ending is his best beginning. He focused on what led up to the ending not not how horribly it came to a close. 

My dad has taught me so much about how to live and grow under his roof and in the world. He pushes me to be my best and to view trials as things to push through instead of dwell on. My lowest times are my greatest lessons. He’s my greatest mentor and the strongest guidance in my life. When I feel like giving up he tells me to go out and better myself. 

He doesn’t realize the great impact he has on his family, he only knows he’s living. His son looks up to him as his only parental figure and is blessed. He’s taught us how to be hardworking and kind but also how to have fun. He has the best sense of humor of which I love. 

He doesn’t care what people think of him only that he’s doing what he thinks is right. He’s my greatest role model and my best friend. He’s shown me how to think in depth and view the world in different ways. To appreciate the earth God gave us. To him less is more and material things are only of this world and temporary. Family ties and relationships are his most important priority. He knows how to have an adventure and make it the best. 

I love my dad. 

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Nature 

  
Happy Easter! What did I close the holiday off with? Nature. My dad invited my brother and me to a field to watch for deer. At first I was reluctant because of the temperature being in the 30s, but I gave in and went. We had a plan mapped out for the best viewing of the deer. I would take the road and go behind the barn that was in the field and then run to the middle of the field and stay still. I sat there and took it all in. I was by myself because we took different routes and the peace of the evening washed over me. 

Here’s my view: 

 
After taking a few pictures my phone died forcing me to be in the moment. The planes overhead rumbled as I lie back and relax, I could see the trails dispersing at it moved forward. The colored clouds surrounded me moving with the wind and setting sun… Have you ever just looked at the sky and realize how much of a dome it appears to be? It always surprises me to look at it and be able to have that new perspective. 

After about a half hour I walked over to where my brother was, we stayed still and did not speak. All of the sudden a rustle in the leaves startled us. I looked over and came to the conclusion that is was a deer. I was thrilled to be able to be this close to nature and be disconnected from the busyness of this world. My adrenaline was pumping, mostly because it startled me, but I was also excited. It was getting dark by this point so my dad walked towards us and we made the short walk home. 

In a world where instant gratification is something we are used to; waiting an hour to get a glimpse of a deer was surprisingly satisfying. Being patient and suffering through the cold made the sight of the deer just that much more rewarding. 

Some more pictures…